| Saturday, May 06, 2006 |
| Elections Results 2006 It's official, it's out. The biggest shocker of all, the most one sided victories ever recorded in the history of Singapore. Mr Paik Poh Leong was today declared the winner of Pulau Ubin SMC, after recording a 5000-0 victory over his rival from the No Name Party, Mr. Char Kway Teow. The first time ever that Pulau Ubin's put in as an SMC, it faced opposition the very first time the Obedient and Discipline Party decided to contest for a spot in Parliament via Pulau Ubin SMC. "It's definitely the most one-sided victory ever in the history of Singapore, and while it's disappointing that I did not get a single vote, I'm glad to have lost to a worthy opponent like Mr. Paik, who won so emphatically." Pulau Ubin SMC, populated by a small minority of people, the larger majority of monkeys, fishes, pigs, and definitely, without any doubt, the mosquitoes. This time, the whole population of Pulau Ubin was rallied to put their choice to use, to determine the leader for Pulau Ubin SMC. "I'm really excited about the future prospects of Pulau Ubin, and I believe, by not being late for school, by doing everything we can together, by doing our homework, by pulling up our socks, by being bonded as a class, we, will definitely have a bright future together. I thank all of you for your support, and promise that we will continue to build a bridge into a common goal and wonderful future together." Back in mainland Singapore, it is reported that many people are cheering over the wise votes of the Pulau Ubin residents and, er, the animals, and not forgetting the insects, for putting Mr Paik into parliament. Clorets Singapore, was said to have been delighted by the decision and would be offering a 5 year Clorets Sponsership deal to Mr. Paik and the minority groups on the small island of Pulau Ubin. A few moments later, Macdonalds Singapore, KFC Singapore and most notably, A&W, the long lost food chain announced plans to build restaurants on the island. Quoting kopitiam talk, the people believe the imminent arrivals of such renowned companies further highlighted the quality of Mr. Paik's capabilities. |